So when I was diagnosed, I found it difficult to accept, but the hidden blessing was that it also led me down the path to a deeper level of self-enquiry as to ‘why’ I had the diagnosis.
I personally didn’t believe that my diagnosis was random. I innately knew at the time that there had been certain patterns and behaviours that I had been living which led to the diagnosis. The question I posed to myself was – ‘if I had invested so much time in ‘bettering myself’, and I was what I perceived to be ‘healthier than most’, then how come I had breast cancer?
But what if we are already whole and complete? That everything we need as a woman is within but perhaps we are not living it or expressing it in full? What if the drive for ‘bettering ourselves’ is in fact the very thing that takes us away from ourselves? If we are already whole – then what is there to make better?
If we were to connect with the beautiful, powerful women that we are there would be no need to try to make ourselves better, because we would understand that everything we need is already inside us and it is simply a matter of reconnecting and letting it out, letting it shine. It would be about learning to be in a relationship with our body and deeply honouring it, knowing that it is our vehicle and how we treat it has a direct impact on how we feel on a day-to-day basis.
Why? Because the seeking lead me to think that I needed to get somewhere and that there was part of me that is not complete, which in fact was not true.
We are born in connection, we are born pure, whole, and multi-dimensional. As we grow older, over time for many of us, we lose that innate connection to our essence. But it hasn’t gone anywhere, it is still there, it is just covered up.
So for me my breast cancer diagnosis lead me realise that it was time to stop my quest of ‘bettering myself’ and to turn my focus inward and redevelop a loving and nurturing relationship with my body, that same honouring that our mothers gave us as a newborn; a relationship where I deeply honour myself as a woman in how I move, how I think and in all of my expression.
By Donna Gianniotis